 Topic: Ask Amy: Gay roommate
|
 
|
| Author |
|
aManOnaJourney
Admin Group
Information Contributor
Joined: 30 July 2006
Location: North Lethbridge
Posts: 456
Online Status: 
|
| Posted: 11 August 2009 at 2:10pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Ask Amy Amy Dickinson
Son's preference: No gay roommate
July 20, 2009
Dear Amy: My 18-year-old son "Bob" is leaving for his freshman year of college in August. Bob just received his roommate assignment, and after "friending" him on Facebook, Bob discovered that his roomie is gay.
Bob has four older siblings who have made it successfully through college and dorm life. They've had roommates who were of different races, different cultures and different religions, and have gotten along fine. Bob would prefer a straight roommate.
When I called the university to ask if Bob could be assigned another roomie, the housing director intimated that I was persecuting the gay roommate and that if my son didn't start out rooming with the gay student, then Bob could go to another school. He can put in for a room change during the first two weeks of school if he wants to switch.
I was taken aback. The university (a Jesuit school) has no policy for gay/straight roommates, other than that they don't permit discrimination. Bob will room with the assigned roommate.
In doing an informal poll of my older children and their friends, I discovered that all but one had a gay roommate and didn't stay roommates for long.
Is it discrimination when a straight man doesn't want to room with a gay man? Do you think schools should have a policy about this?
–Worried Mom
Dear Worried: Evidently you understand and applaud your kids' ability to room with people of every background, race and creed, but you and your family draw the line at sexual orientation.
I agree with your school's policy not to discriminate. You could help your son by assuming that he will have a successful roommate experience, but let him know what his options are if he doesn't.
Sometimes students are held hostage by their roommates' nighttime schedule, alcohol use or indiscriminate dating life. That's why the school permits students to switch roommates after a two-week trial.
"My roommate is gay" in and of itself isn't a valid reason to switch in advance, any more than, "my roommate is Asian" would be.
This should be your son's issue to sort out on his own.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/columnists/chi-0720-a sk-amyjul20,0,7955418.column
Ask Amy: Gay roommate still drawing lots of fire
By Amy Dickinson, Tritbune Media Services, Aug 8, 2009
Dear Amy: I am writing regarding your response to "Worried Mom," who was concerned about her son being assigned a gay roommate at college.
Unlike you, I don't equate that with being given a roommate of a different race, religion or nationality. It is more like having your daughter assigned a guy to live with. The two guys might wind up being great friends, but having to share physical intimacies with someone of a different sexual orientation could be very disconcerting.
An 18-year-old kid, with all the other stuff he or she has to face, doesn't need that, and often is not sophisticated enough to deal with it on an appropriate level.
Kudos to this young man if he can "sort it out" in a gentlemanly way on his own.
-- Mareth
Dear Mareth: No topic I have ever covered in my column has generated a more heated response than this.
Yours is among the more civilized expressions of the most commonly held view: that asking a straight person to room with a gay person would be like asking a young man and woman to room together.
There are several older teens in my life, and when I polled them on this question, they didn't express any extreme concern, though none of these kids (all girls) wanted to room with a guy.
In my answer, I reacted to what I thought was the assumption on the part of "Worried Mom" that a gay roommate might behave sexually toward a same-sex roommate.
I felt that automatically objecting to rooming with someone only because he was gay was akin to racial discrimination, which is based on stereotypical assumptions.
Colleges give students the opportunity to switch roommates. This enables incompatible people to make changes.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/columnists/advice/chi -0808-ask-amyaug08,0,194560.column
askamy@tribune.com
__________________
"What have you done today to make you feel PROUD?"
(Proud by Heather Small, Queer as Folk Soundtrack)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
If you wish to post a reply to this topic you must first login
If you are not already registered you must first register
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
This page was generated in 0.1563 seconds. |
|
Active Topics
Memberlist
Search
Help
Register
Login
